Cell Block Tango Yaoi Style
by InMyWildestMemories
Summary: What may soon be a skit in the coming future is now here for you to read and laugh about. Enjoy what happens when you mix popular yaoi couples and the musical "Chicago". Rate and review!


**Cell Block Tango - Yaoi Style**

Cast: Sasuke Uchiha, Edward Elric, Cloud Strife, Light Yagami, Kaoru Hitachiin and Shuichi Shindou

Sasuke: Believe it.

Edward: Six.

Cloud: Sword.

Light: Nu-uh.

Kaoru: Host Club.

Shuichi: Eiri.

repeat x6

Bandleader: (overlapping) And now, the six merry murders of the (Kumoricon/Sakuracon) Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango.

All: He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

Kaoru: I betcha you would have done the same!

Sasuke: Believe it.

Edward: Six.

Cloud: Sword.

Light: Nu-uh.

Kaoru: Host Club.

Shuichi: Eiri.

repeat x2

Sasuke: You know how people

have these little habits

That gets you down? Like Naruto.

Naruto liked to say catchphrases.

Yeah - _Believe it._

So I came home this one day

And I am really irritated, and

I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy

and there's Naruto lying

on the couch, singing out

catchphrases. Yeah, that one,

BELIEVE IT. So, I said to him,

I said, "You say 'Believe

it' one more time..."

And he did.

So I took some kunai off the wall

and I fired threw warning shots...

Into his head.

All: He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have done the same!

Edward: I met Roy Mustang outside

Risembol about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home,

I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.

And then I found out:

"Single" he told me. Single, my ass.

Not only was he married...

Oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Coronals, you know.

So that night when he came home from work,

I fixed him his drink, as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

All: He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

Cloud: Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

messing around with some materia,

minding my own business.

In storms mister Zack Fair in a jealous rage.

"You been screwing Areith!" he says.

He was crazy and he kept on screaming,

"You been screwing Areith!"

And then he ran into my sword

He ran into my sword ten times!

All: If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Light: What am doing here?

They say Misa-Misa held down Ryuzaki while I murdered him.

But it isn't true, I am innocent.

I don't know why they don't see it's Kira.

And I'm not Kira - Kira killed Ryuzaki, not me!

Kaoru: Yeah, but did you do it?

Light: Nu-uh! I'm not Kira!

Kaoru: My brother Hikaru and I had this double act,

and our friend Haruhi traveled around with us.

Now, for the last number in our act,

we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.

one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles,

back flips, flip flops, one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the Host Club at Ouran,

the three of us screwing around, having some laughs, and we ran out of ice.

So I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door, and there's Hikaru and

Haruhi doing Number Seventeen -- the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead.

Kaoru: They had it coming

Others: They had it coming

All: They had it coming all along

Kaoru: I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

All: They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

Karou: All along

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me

That I was wrong?

Others: (overlapping) They took a flower

In its prime

And then they used it

And they abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

Shuichi: I loved Yuki Eiri more than I can possibly say.

He was a really cool guy... sensitive... a writer.

But he was always trying to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself and on the way

he found Tohma, Hiroshi, Ryuichi and Suguru.

I guess you could say we broke

up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.

All: The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming

All along

All along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us And they abused us

And they abused us

How could you tell us

How could you tell us That we were wrong?

That we were wrong?

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would have done the same!

Sasuke: You pop 'Believe it' one more time!

Edward: Single my ass.

Cloud: Ten times!

Light: Not Kira.

Kaoru: Number seventeen -- the spread-eagle.

Shuichi: Artistic differences.

Sasuke: Believe it.

Edward: Six.

Cloud: Sword.

Light: Nu-uh.

Kaoru: Host Club.

Shuichi: Eiri.


End file.
